i dont relly know what to sey here...only that relly, im still depressed...n i know what your probibly thinking..its bin mounths now since shit happend...why are you still goin on about this.....honestly i relly dont have a thing goin on in my life at the moment....soo menny fuckin damn things remind me of her.....but well thats not exatly what bothers me..im alreddy over the fact that she left me n all..so shes gone...oh well....what relly pisses me off though is that how someone could relly go on livin knowin they did something like that...like it was ok...when i was with them i was glad u know..happy to be a part of something i basicly screwd off all the rest of my friends thinkin that moe and tina would be all i would ever relly need...that they would u know be there n stfuff..i mean we did start the inc....i wouldent know if thats dead or not...n i guess when she left me it relly hit me hard...all my life i havent bin that close to anyone...mainly because i move alot and have had foster parents in my past.....it relly dose hurt...so she left me....well of course i felt bad..i know she was feeling bad too about her confusion n all...but well as populer as she is she had friends with her n all to help her deal with things...me not being so lucky n loseing the only ppl i trust..had to find some way to deal with it all on my own..i was achelly suisidal a few times...n i went online read some things...n i saw that the thing that got most ppl out of killing themselfs were there friends....'there friends'...wow...if i wasent so dumb..i probibly would of jumped in that empty pool mounths ago......i mainly feel betrayed....the closest person to me left me for someone ealse..brakeing the trust i had for her......and when i was depressed n dident know what to do...insted of helping me.....she basicly let me sit there clueless to mope on about it for weeks.......i feel like ive bin stabbed n the back n basicly left to die....relly im still depressed....i wouldent blame moe so much for not being there to help out..i mean hes got things goin on i think with him figueing out wth hes going to do to survive in life...i relly miss those guys...the only one i can relly go n still talk to today is tina...but well...i dunno whats goin on with her n all.....i try to be bit more enthusiastic when speaking with her....but i usely get thrown away like some useless asswipe.....i dunno why i try sometimes...before i even jump in to talk to her the words 'your just goin to end up hurting yourself' comes to mind...sometimes i compleatly icnor that shes on..i cant even spend time in my own room..its ware i uset to be when i spent time with her..i dont like goin online anymore cause msn automaticly sines me in and plain knowing that she exsists makes me feel bad...cause when u see her..its like...you know shes happy...she couldent be haveing a better time...but well...all that shit relly tells me is...'look how far ive gotten in life without u...look how much more better it is...now that your gone..who needs you...ya never ment a thing to me..'...ch...i know for a fact that when i came back she missed me n that her friends wernt even relly around for her she was even in some small fight with moe withc i think he was the only one she was relly still talkin to at the time...if anything i picked her up..i lifted any of that depresstion she had at the time....but i guess now that her friends are back..i dont relly matter that much....w/e...i always relly thought she was the one...i dident have to fuckin impress anyone with some bullshit..i was loved for who i was..n we had so much in commen...it all kinda struck me when she said those horrible words....i never thought it happen....but enough for now...im shur no one will read this far into this...and if outta some odd reason you do..(tina..yeah you)..i want you to know how hard it is to even be around you..i think the worst of u when i even see that u exsist...but i miss you so much...n you were all i relly had...i wish i was dead....

-Erick M.